Last we spoke was a few days ago. At that time, I had mentioned researching a new book about suicide notes — that fizzled out after I read a handful of them, and found that they tended to explore a lot of the same themes. I mean, I didn’t expect some crazy degree of diversity when it came to, you know, final thoughts, but I assumed there would be a range of emotions or experiences. Instead it’s a lot of sadness, a lot of apologies, and a lot of finger-pointing. Maybe there’s still a book there of fictionalized suicide notes, but I don’t know, I’d have to think it over still.
Anyway, since my last post, my job situation has become rocky. The company I work for isn’t doing so hot, and I suspect layoffs for the staff that remain since our last cuts. I’ve started my own thing, Oak Advertising, but it takes some time to get going, which makes transitions hard. I’ve also started applying for a bunch of new jobs. A lot of them are ‘beneath’ me, i.e. I have way more experience than I need so they’ll toss my résumé without a second glance, but I’m hoping I can find something that fits. There’s one job in particular that I’m very interested in. I’ll be excited to see if I get a call back on it, but given how my month is going, I’m not holding my breath.
Also got some news about my dogs. My girl dog is facing kidney failure, and they’re not sure how long she’s got. Which sucks. It’s never easy losing a pet, and I don’t think this one will be easy at all. That said, I have significantly less regrets with these two dogs — I’ve smothered them with attention and care and toys and treats to where when one of them passes, I genuinely don’t think there’s anything I could have done better or differently. That should make their eventual passing easier. But still not easy.
I’m gonna grab some dinner and mull over the state of my existence.